Always Start With What You Like

(It’s a Confidence Game Changer)

by Robin Sacks

· Confidence,Confidence Coach,Confidence Tips,Confidence Building,Behavior Change
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As a coach, I’m not only interested in what you would like to shift or improve, but also in reminding you what you already do well.

You are already good at what you do! (HINT: If you weren’t, you would not be getting a paycheck to do it or you would not be in the role you are currently in.)

It’s human nature to skip over all the things we’re good at and jump right to the things we don’t like about ourselves. But once you’re aware you do that, you can make a little shift that has a big impact.

Want to know how to build your confidence level quickly? Start with what you like.

Any time you catch yourself putting yourself down, doubting yourself, questioning yourself or letting that critical self-talk voice in your head tell you that you are ‘less than,’ do this:

1. Stop

2. Acknowledge the thought (ONLY if it’s TRUE)

3. Remind yourself of something you do well

Here’s an example:

You have this thought: I’m not prepared to present this material today. I didn’t have time to write it out or practice. It’s going to sound like I’m winging it and it’s not going to look or sound professional.

While it may be true (fact) that you might not have prepared as much as you would have liked, the rest of the thought is made up — you’ve created a bad situation before it’s even happened.

Here’s the other side of the story you can ALSO remind yourself of (what you already do well): I know more than the people I’m talking to about this topic. That’s why they are asking me to present information about it. Instead of “presenting,” I’m going to “share” what I know. I can keep it high level and let them ask questions, and by doing that, I’ll sound professional because I know the answers to what they will ask because I know my stuff. It doesn’t have to be in a “script” for me to “perform.” As a matter of fact, THAT would make me look and sound unprofessional. If I go in with a basic framework, keep it concise and high level, it will create more of a discussion which I can then lead.

Think about this…

The reason most people are uncomfortable with public speaking is because they’re trying to do something they never do anywhere else in their life…follow a script! Think about it. You “ad-lib” MOST of your life. You don’t walk around with a script. You just open your mouth and share what you know. What makes public speaking “hard” is that you are now expecting your brain to memorize something and follow it word for word — that’s so unnatural.

When you free yourself up to ditch the idea of needing a script and instead have a basic idea of your talking points and what you’re going to cover first, second, and third, your brain can function more clearly and smoothly. Your brain needs triggers, not a script.

So remember…

You’re already good at what you do.

You’re already professional enough.

You’re already prepared enough.

You’re already good enough.

You know more about your subject matter than the people you’re talking to — that automatically makes you more knowledgeable than them and able to share something new with them. (If you weren’t, you would not have been asked to speak to them!)

Getting in this habit of reminding yourself of what you already do well will teach your brain to see the whole story, not just a small part of it. The more you do this, the more you will notice your stress level fall and your confidence level rise.

Want to know how to have more confidence and less stress in your life so you can become the person you want to become? Reach out and let’s chat.

Image by Mark Mook from Pixabay