So, Are YOU an Energy Giver or an Energy Drainer

(Be Honest With Yourself)

by Robin Sacks

· Energy,Attitude,Showing Up,Self-Awareness,Leadership
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In my last blog post, Energy Givers vs. Energy Drainers, I talked about how taking an inventory of the people in your life that give you energy or drain your energy can help you to make shifts in your own attitude, stress levels, and success.

But guess what? YOU are either an energy giver or energy drainer for the people whose lives you are a part of, too!

That's why it's important to do an honest self-inventory, as well.

The hardest part about a self-inventory is that you have to be both self-aware and honest with yourself.

Many people struggle with those things for good reasons. We don't need to deep dive into the psychology of it all to understand that, high-level, it's about not wanting to be seen in a bad light. We're afraid of other people perceiving that we are not credible or informed or "perfect."

That's normal. But let's also be honest with ourselves.

Be honest with yourself - when you walk into a room, do you bring joy or anger? Are you someone who uplifts or who downplays other peoples' ideas? Do people seem happy that you are there, or do they get quiet and are just bracing for your shenanigans, loud opinions, or complaints?

Be honest with yourself.

When you leave a room, are people more energized because of what you were able to leave IN the room with them, or are they more exhausted and overwhelmed than before you got there?

Be honest with yourself.

When you call someone on the phone, do they typically pick up or do you often get voicemail (a possible sign that people see your caller ID and think, "not dealing with this right now")?

Be honest with yourself.

Do people routinely ask your for your input or thoughts or opinions, or do they avoid you like the plague until they actually need to involve you.

Be honest with yourself.

Do you typically feel positive and motivated after conversations and meetings, or do you tend to feel exhausted and unmotivated?

Be honest with yourself.

All of these are things that can shed some light on whether YOU are an energy giver or energy taker.

If, after being honest with yourself, you realize that you have a tendency to sometimes suck the life out of the room - honesty sometimes hurts - take some steps to change that.

Here are two easy ways to do that:

1. Ask anyone you know if you are an energy giver or an energy taker. Tell them you want to know honestly (so they don't lie to you just to get away). ;) Listen to what they say, and appreciate those who are being honest with you (you'll know it when it happens, because it may sting a little bit!).

Listen to them without judgement - they are helping you. Think about what they said, and ask yourself if you really do that. (Be honest with yourself!) If someone tells you that you do, believe them; it is what they saw or heard, and you need to know that is how you are "showing-up" in the world, whether you think you are or not.

That's good information that you need to know if you want to change.

By the way, if you ask a few people, you will inevitably hear the same things over and over - learn from that!!! When you keep getting the same feedback over and over, don't fight it, own it!

2. Pay attention, then apply acordingly. If you make a habit of observing other people, you will learn a ton! You will see exactly what the people who are energy givers do, and you'll see what those who suck energy out of the room do.

They do different things, and they get different results.

Begin to decide which traits you see in others that you would like to adopt, and then simply start working them into how you "show-up." Pay attention to the difference in language and behavior. Pay attention to how they handle situations, both good ones and challenging ones. Pay attention to their demeanor. Pay attention to how they sit or stand. Pay attention to how they react or respond to other people.

They do different things, and they get different results.

A person doesn't have to say a word for you to sometimes be able to tell whether they are an energy giver or an energy taker.

So, which one are you? Which one do you want to be?

Be honest with yourself.

Photo by Headway on Unsplash.

WRITTEN by Robin Sacks

Professionally, I am a Confidence Coach, speaker, author and motivator.

Personally, I am a mom, wife, and friend.

I live for bad puns and cozy mysteries.

Learn a lot more at

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