Think, Feel, Behave (The Confidence Trifecta)

As a personal development junkie, and professional confidence and performance coach, I have spent years learning about the connection our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors have.

At some point, you realize that humans are just machines and their behavior is rather predictable. In other words, just like any other machine, what you put in determines what you get out.

It’s easy to think about some of those obvious inputs, such as food and water, but the less obvious inputs often have the biggest impact — like your thoughts.

Thoughts are fuel for our bodies — our thoughts can lift us up or break us down; our thoughts can fill us with energy and motivation or they can make us pull the covers over our heads and not want to leave the house.

For me, this thoughts, feelings, and behaviors connection started as a young softball player. I had the good fortune of having a couple coaches who explained that what I was thinking about when I stepped up to the plate or when the ball was coming at me in the field could help to determined whether I would have a positive outcome or not. For example, if I walked up to the plate thinking, “Don’t strike out,” there was a good chance I would strike out because all of my focus was on doing exactly that. Whereas, if I walked up to the plate thinking to myself, “See ball, hit ball,” I would get a hit more often than not.

We go where our attention goes.

You may not realize how powerful your thoughts are, or how much they contribute to your success or lack thereof. But think about it — when a professional athlete is in a “slump,” they didn’t forget how to play their sport! The problem is usually between their ears. It is typically when they get out of their heads that they also get out of their slump.

The same holds true for everyday things, whether it’s having a difficult conversation, speaking in public, or asking for a raise. If you go into these situations thinking about all the things that could ‘go wrong,’ you’re going to feel a lack of confidence, fear, worry, anxiety and stress. That is going to effect your behavior; you might shift in your chair, shake your leg incessantly, lean forward because you’re full of tension or never make eye contact.

Those behaviors can be the reason you may or may not get the outcome you want.

If you acknowledge that things could go wrong, but instead choose to focus on what you do know, what you can share, what you do bring to the table or on the fact that things could go right, you have a much better chance for a positive outcome!

If both sides are possible, why are you only telling yourself half the story?

Change your thoughts and your feelings will follow. The more you practice this, the more you will show-up in the world with behavior that brings with it more confidence and less stress, regardless of the situation.

P.S. What would you do if you were more confident? Check out my 16 week course, Owning Your Confidence, to learn how to shift your self-talk, body language, and mental-game so you can have less stress and more confidence.

Photo by Viktor Forgacs on Unsplash.