Why Are You Looking For What You Don't Want?
by Robin Sacks
What do these people have in common?
A job seeker who looks at a job listing and decides not to apply because he focuses in on the listed skills he doesn't have, instead of the listed skills he does have.
A person who is searching for an answer to a question, Googles the question, and reads the first two or three things that pop up, which don't answer the question, then stops looking, convinced she has no answer.
A business associate who looks through lists of podcast hosts who are looking for guests, sees a lot that are looking for guests who can talk about things he doesn't have the experience to talk about and decides that nobody is looking for a guest with his knowledge. So he stops looking.
The answer is, they all believe they got answers, when they actually missed the answers entirely (even thought they were right in front of their eyes).
This is a bad habit that stops many people from getting exactly what they want. They tell themselves (quickly) to stop looking when they find a few things that are contrary to what they want. If they would just keep looking for exactly what they want, they would always find it.
When you are looking for something specific, ONLY look for that thing! You will always find dozens of things that are NOT what you're looking for, but that should never stop you because you aren't looking for them. Don't get distracted.
To do this, you need clarity (what am I looking for?), you need focus (laser in on what you want), and you need to toss the things that don't fit to the side and keep moving ("That's not a fit, let's find the one that is").
If a dog latches onto a scent, puts his nose to the ground, and starts sniffing, he doesn't pick up his nose after a minute and think that the thing he's smelling isn't there. Of course it's there, and he knows that because he smells it! That's why he keeps going until he finds what he's looking for. He doesn't get distracted by everything else he hears or sees; he stays relentlessly on that scent trail and finds what he's looking for every time.
Develop the habit of looking for what you want, not what you don't want. Once you have clarity on what you are seeking, be like that dog, put your nose to the ground and go find it! It's always there.